Surah Luqman (Luqman ) 31 : 14

Overview (Verses 14 - 15)

Relations with Parents
 
Continuing on from this parental advice, the sūrah speaks in gentle terms about relations between parents and children, delivering this in an inspiring and tender way. Nevertheless, the bond of faith takes precedence over such close relations: We have enjoined upon man goodness to his parents: his mother bore him going from weakness to weakness, and his weaning takes place within two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents. With Me is the end of all journeys. Yet should they endeavour to make you associate as partner with Me something of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, but [even then] bear them company in this world’s life with kindness, and follow the path of those who turn towards Me. In the end, it is to Me that you shall all return, when I shall inform you about all that you were doing [in life]. (Verses 14-15)
 
That children are enjoined to be good to parents is mentioned repeatedly in the Qur’ān and by the Prophet. The reverse recommendation enjoining kindness to children occurs only rarely, but mostly in connection with infanticide, a special case with special circumstances. Human nature ensures that a newborn is taken care of by its parents. It is because of their very nature that people look after the new generation in order to ensure the continuity of life, as God wills. In this way, parents normally offer their personal efforts, resources, possessions and lives generally, without complaint or boredom. Indeed they often do not realize how much they give. They do it willingly and with pleasure, as if they were the recipients. Thus, parents do not need to be urged to take care of their children. It is children who need to be urged to look after the generation that has already given its all and stands at life’s departure gate. Children can compensate parents for even a portion of what they have given, even though they may dedicate their entire lives to such ends. Such parental dedication is given an inspiring image: “His mother bore him going from weakness to weakness, and his weaning takes place within two years.” (Verse 14) Needless to say, the mother gives the larger share of such sacrifice, with more love and care. “A man was carrying his mother on his back in ţawāf, [a worship ritual of pilgrimage], when he asked the Prophet: ‘Do I thus pay her back for what she did for me?’ The Prophet said: ‘No; not even for one heaved sigh.” [Related by al-Bazzār.] This is how the Prophet compares the two actions. The man could not repay his mother for even one heaved sigh during pregnancy or childbirth, for she carried her child in weakness upon weakness.
 
With this image of compassion the sūrah directs people to the need to express gratitude to God, the first Benefactor, and then to show gratitude to parents who are always ready to give to their children. These duties are given in order of priority: ‘Be grateful to Me and to your parents.” (Verse 14) This fact is linked to the reality of the hereafter: “With Me is the end of all journeys.” (Verse 14) It is then, at the end of the journey, that what has been advanced of good work will be of benefit.
 
This bond between parent and child, with all its care, love and sacrifice, nevertheless comes second to the bond of faith. Hence, immediately after the statement enjoining man to be dutiful to parents, he is told: “Yet should they endeavour to make you associate as partner with Me something of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them.” (Verse 15) Should this happen, the duty of obeying one’s parents is no longer valid. The bond of faith supersedes all bonds. Hence, no matter how hard parents try to persuade, coerce, pressurize or force their son or daughter to associate with God anyone whose godship is unknown to them — and no being other than God has any godship to be known — they must not be obeyed. This is an order from God whom all creatures must obey.
 
However, differences of faith and the order not to obey parents against one’s faith does not deprive parents of their right to receive kindly and caring treatment and companionship: “but [even then] bear them company in this world’s life with kindness.” (Verse 15) This life is, after all, a short journey that does not affect the truth: “Follow the path of those who turn towards Me,” i.e. the believers. “In the end, it is to Me that you shall all return,” after this short journey on earth; ‘when I shall inform you about all that you were doing [in life].” (Verse 15) Everyone will have the just reward of their deeds.
 
It is reported that this verse and the two similar to it in Sūrah 29, The Spider, and Sūrah 46, The Sand Dunes, were revealed in connection with Sa`d ibn Abī Waqqāş and his mother [as reported earlier]. The story is mentioned in Muslim’s Şaĥīĥ?, which is universally recognized as an authentic Ĥadīth anthology. However, its import is general and applies to any similar situation. It draws an order for bonds and relations, and one for duties. Thus, the bond of faith in God ranks top, and with it the requirement to fulfil His orders. The Qur’ān emphasizes this rule on every occasion and in a variety of forms so that it is solidly implanted in a believer’s consciousness. There can be no confusion or ambiguity about this.