Surah al-Baqarah (The Cow) 2 : 224

Overview (Verses 224 - 227)
 
Oaths and Atonements
 
The sūrah then moves on to the subject of renouncing wives on oath and abstaining from sexual contact with them as a form of punishment. By way of introduction, it begins with talking about oaths in general, saying:
 
Do not allow your oaths in the name of God to become an obstacle to your being kind and God-fearing, or to promoting peace among people. God hears all and knows all. God shall not take you to task for oaths which you may have uttered without thought, but He will take you to task for what your hearts have conceived in earnest. God is much-Forgiving, Forbearing. Those who take an oath that they will not approach their wives shall have four months of grace. If they go back on their oaths, God is much-Forgiving, Merciful; and if they are resolved on divorce, [let them remember that] God hears all and knows all. (Verses 224-227)
 
The accepted interpretation of the opening part of this passage is that attributed to `Abdullāh ibn `Abbās who is quoted as saying: “Do not allow the fact that you have made an oath prevent you from doing what is good and righteous; rather, do what is right and atone for your oath.” According to Ibn Kathīr, a similar view is attributed to a host of leading scholars.
 
To support this interpretation, the Prophet’s statement, reported by Abū Hurayrah and related by Muslim, is often quoted. The Prophet said: “Whoever made an oath and later realized that it would be better to do something different, let him atone for his oath and do what is better.” Al-Bukhārī cites the statement reported by Abū Hurayrah that the Prophet said: “For someone to insist on honouring his oath concerning his relationship with his wife is, in God’s sight, far worse than to relent and pay the atonement God has prescribed for going back on an oath.”
 
It may, therefore, be concluded that the main import of the statement is that oaths should not be an excuse for not doing what is best under the circumstances. One should not hesitate to revoke an oath one has taken if it becomes clear that revoking it is better from the Islamic point of view. The promotion of goodness and reconciliation takes precedence over one’s commitment to an oath.
 
A case in point is the vow made by Abū Bakr, the Prophet’s leading Companion, that he would never forgive one of his relatives, Misţaĥ, for taking part in the campaign to slander the Prophet’s wife, `Ā’ishah, who was also Abū Bakr’s daughter.
 
On that occasion a passage was revealed, declaring `Ā’ishah’s innocence of what was said against her. Then a verse follows in the same sūrah calling on believers to always choose the better course of action. This verse may be translated as follows: “Let not those of you who have been graced with God’s favour and are well-off withhold their generosity from their relatives, or the needy, or those who leave their homes for the cause of God. Let them forgive and forebear. Do you not wish that God should forgive you your sins? God is much-Forgiving, Merciful.” (24: 22) Abū Bakr relented and atoned for his oath, and reinstated his generous help to Misţaĥ.
 
God is even more gracious in offering this concession not only for inadvertent vows that need no atonement, but also for vows made in earnest and with full intention. The Prophet was reported to have often overlooked off-hand or casual vows made out of habit or in the heat of the moment. Premeditated vows must be revoked and atoned for, if keeping them results in, or leads to, something evil, harmful or inequitable. Some jurists, however, are of the opinion that making a false vow, knowing that it is false, can never be atoned for. Mālik says in his famous book, al-Muwaţţa’: “The best I have heard on this subject is that a casual vow is made in total good faith. If it is subsequently proven to be false, it requires no atonement. If a false vow is made deliberately, with the intention of appeasing someone, or for material gain, that is too grave to be atoned for.”
 
The sūrah emphasizes that God knows all and hears all, and that He is forgiving and lenient, in order to establish in people’s minds the fact that these matters are ultimately referred to God Almighty for judgement, and to urge them to be conscious of Him and seek His pleasure and grace in all such matters.
 
Having established the general rule with respect to vows, the sūrah goes on to deal with the specific vows by husbands to abstain from sexual contact with their wives, either indefinitely or for a specified but long period of time: “Those who take an oath that they will not approach their wives shall have four months of grace. If they go back on their oaths, God is much forgiving, merciful; and if they are resolved on divorce, [let them remember that] God hears all and knows all.’’ (Verses 226-227)
 
There are times in married life when spouses, for one reason or another, find themselves drawn away from one another. In such cases, some men swear not to sleep with their wives as a form of punishment, which can be humiliating for the wife and psychologically extremely hard on her. It is also a negation of the very essence of marriage and can be detrimental to the well-being and stability of the whole family.
 
This behaviour was not forbidden outright to begin with because it could be effective with vain, spiteful or quarrelsome women. It could, indeed, act as a safety valve for the relief of certain pressures that build up within a married relationship. Nor was the advantage left completely on the man’s side, who could sometimes be at fault, intent on humiliating his wife or coercing her to submit to his terms or demands. He thus tries to deny her the chance to live happily with him, refusing, at the same time, to release her to seek happiness with someone else.
 
To balance all relevant factors and all practicalities, Islam has limited the duration of such estrangement to four months. This period seems to be the maximum an average normal woman can go before feeling the need for a man’s comfort.
 
`Umar ibn al-Khaţţāb, the second Caliph, was reported to be patrolling the streets of Madinah one night when he heard a woman reciting a few lines of poetry expressing her loneliness and desire for her husband who was away fighting with one of the Muslim armies. She complained of sleeplessness which she attributed to the fact that she had no one to frolic with, affirming that only her fear of God prevented her from seeking pleasure with someone else.
 
`Umar then enquired from his daughter, Ĥafşah, the Prophet’s wife, how long a woman could stand the absence of her husband. She replied: “Six months;” or she said four months, according to some reports. `Umar then declared that he would never let soldiers stay away from their wives for more than that period.
 
People’s temperament and will-power vary, but four months seem to be a reasonable test period, after which a husband should either resume normal marital relations with his wife or insist on his rejection of her. In this latter case the relationship must be dissolved by divorce and the wife given her freedom, whether by the husband or through the courts. This would enable both parties to start a new life with another spouse, thereby preserving the dignity and integrity of the wife and taking the pressure off the husband. Such a solution would be more just to both people and would safeguard the institution of marriage, which God has ordained for the enhancement and advancement of human life.